God Bless Dubai

Because international travel is just not stressful enough, the good people of the United Arab Emirates have seen fit to add a new twist to help raise the blood pressure of the average chap just that little bit more.

Emirates airlines, who I use extensively when travelling east, have exclusive use of the pristine terminal 3 at Dubai International Airport. The vast majority of people landing there (I am told around 80%) are actually going on elsewhere and not even visiting Dubai. So, having completed security checks to get on the flight to Dubai, why on earth are we expected to do it again immediately after disembarking? If I had a bomb, surely I would have used it on the first flight. Although I am not an expert, from what I understand, terrorism is about blowing up planes, not some perverse competition to see how far through the airline network you can actually smuggle an explosive device without being caught. To add to the overall experience, the UAE have chosen to staff these checkpoints with people ranging from imbeciles to the criminally insane. Here’s an extract from my last trip there:

Security: Please take off your belt
Me: I did
Security: Please take off your belt sir
Me: I really did
Security: do not be difficult
Me: It’s the long leather thing with the gold buckle on it in the tray in front of you with my jacket, phone, change etc
Security: do not try to be difficult sir

This does however raise an interesting option for the airlines – frequent terror miles. Smuggle enough explosive across the airline network for your particular terrorist paymaster and then you get to go bomb the location of your choice, regardless of them being infidels or whatever. If someone in Andorra has really pissed you off or you got a parking ticket in Luxembourg – it’s payback time 🙂 how good is that??

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